Celebrating with Meg

I’m really going to try to be aware of what I’m seeing, tasting, touching, smelling and hearing. Celebration is about the five senses, and that's how I'm trying to look at my Second Half of life. -Meg

Meghan Kennedy Stuhmer had the cruel task of picking me up every morning for early bird student council junior year. Arriving at the passenger door no less than seven minutes after she honked for me, Meghan always greeted me with a huge patient smile and the tape deck blaring Kenny Loggins’ Footloose.🎵 Meg dug in the clutch on that two door Toyota Corolla hatchback like a pro and our rides to Las Vegas High School weren't without a few engine stalls and us manually holding the windows up on cold days. She was blessed enough to have four wheels…unlike myself who was forever bumming rides 30 years ago. Three graduations together later (high school / bachelor’s / master’s), marriages, children, random jobs, real careers, and life ups and downs, our friendship is heartily heading into our Second Half.

Say the truth, make it somebody else’s problem

Meghan: I think one thing that has gotten me through a lot of things is I have a philosophy: Say the truth, make it somebody else's problem. When I was younger, I was very easily intimidated. And then at one point after Karli was born, I was probably in my thirties, I just realized if somebody intimidates me, just tell them the truth. Don't be angry, just tell the truth.

Like, “Are you late?” 
“Yes, I'm late. I'm always late.” 

And, and that's a lighter version, but moving forward, my philosophy really is just to be calm, breathe into my stomach, and tell the truth. It does not matter if you feel embarrassed or don’t want to deal with the response….once it’s out it gets resolved. I tell my students: tell the truth- make it somebody else's problem.

Meghan grew up fishing, skating on frozen ponds and spending most of her time outdoors in Franklin, Massachusetts. Raised in the 70s and 80s by her birth parents with her older brother and sister, Meghan’s father suffered a massive stroke when she was three years old.

Meghan: So I grew up with a parent that had a disability and then we had a lot of other family issues that took place. My dad had his master's in psychology, but he couldn't use that after his stroke. My parents had to make difficult decisions with three young kids.

Meghan’s parents chose to move to Las Vegas, Nevada when she was in fourth grade for work opportunities available to her father that were not in Massachusetts. Although she claims to be an introvert, Meghan thrived in Las Vegas. As an undergrad she attended the University of Nevada, Reno, San Diego State, completed internships in Spain and Boston, earned her bachelor's and master’s degrees from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas in 1999 and 2010. Referring to her undergrad Meghan expressed, “I had an amazing five year college experience.” 

Meghan spent a short time in medical supply sales which exposed her to holistic medical practices that included massage therapists, nutritionists, and chiropractors. This ultimately led her to the decision to enroll in massage therapy school which yielded a five year career practicing as a massage therapist.

Meghan: I think that had a lot to do with the experience I had with my dad having a disability. I felt like he had to fix the problem and not the symptom, so I didn’t want to sell medical supplies. During that time of practicing as a massage therapist I met my husband, we got married, had a baby, and divorced in under two years. Record timing, I'm pretty sure I beat Britney Spears. Ha ha ha! We've been highly dedicated co-parents ever since because it's always about our daughter and not about us. Then I worked for a law firm because I could work from home and eventually went back to school to become a special education teacher.

Meghan’s 6’1” 200 lb. father took a fall in 2018 that left all four of his limbs immobile (the right side of his body had been paralyzed earlier in life when he suffered his stroke). She moved to Charleston, South Carolina, near her sister to take care of him in her home. Although it was a rough transition, her teen daughter was brilliant and supportive about moving there. They ended up there during the covid quarantine and after her father passed away they planned to move back to Las Vegas. Around that time is when her daughter was in a severe car accident. There have been a couple of years of recovery since the time of the accident.

Recovery and Being Present

Meghan: I would say there's many more years of recovery to come from that- spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. We're back in Las Vegas now; this October will be two years. We're really just learning to be present again. So when I read your blog, Carami, my goal at that moment was that everyday I would remind myself to be present. It doesn't matter if I'm happy, sad, content, angry, or whatever. It’s to not be reactive and to not dissociate. My only goal at the moment of reading it was to be present regardless of what being present entailed.

There have been a lot of deaths in my family in the last two years. I've gone through about six different transitions of life and I’m having a hard time with processing everything. With as much as I want to celebrate life, it has really made me reflect on what it means to live and what it means to celebrate.

When you talked to me about what my topic would be [for this interview], I thought: we celebrate birthdays, we celebrate weddings, babies, baby showers, all these things. And then you go through this lull where you don't really celebrate as much; or you celebrate for other people. And then in my case, I went through this huge, massive amount of people sending me food and flowers for about two years. So many people died in my life that I was close to and people were looking out for me, but I wasn’t able to handle it. I don't want to celebrate a birth or a death or a monumental birthday. I think we need to start celebrating things that are just intrinsic and organic. I'm trying to live my life in a way where I'm present. If I'm going to be present, I have to accept the good and the bad, and I have to celebrate all that life offers and accept all that life delivers.

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Meg’s Second Half Vision

Carami: Everyone has their own definition of what Second Half means and when it begins. Describe what your second half looks like to you.

Meghan: So I would almost say I am probably at the infancy of my Second Half. I'm 100% just now starting to be able to be focused and present on reality. I lost myself for the last couple years and I feel like I'm just now starting to just really breathe and really laugh and really enjoy the taste of food and all those things that I probably took for granted for a lot of the first half of my life. 

Carami: You know I love hearing that - being your friend. I love hearing that right now actually. 

Meghan: Good. So you were actually there at our friend's wedding in Mexico. That was a huge experience for me because I really was just sort of rolling with everything. Enjoying everything and just being present without trying. I didn't have to meditate once! Yeah, that was good. 

Carami: Do you have any influences in your first half that you view as positive, helpful, and supportive? Or there's the other side of it, any influences in your first half that are negative, heavy, or contrary to your inner self? 

Meghan: I would say in my first half, there were the types of trials and issues that people validated. In my second half, it's almost like I just have this very small circle. So not the general public, but a very small circle of people who just have loved me and supported me.

During the first half I was part of the general flow of people that had certain challenges. You know like, ‘I'm so sorry you dealt with this and here's what we can do.’ In my second half, I feel like I have this superhero team, and I don't even know how they all came together other than a lot of things went wrong in the last few years. I feel like a lot of people are just coming through for me. And so I'm really just trying to focus on that and be grateful for that and receptive to it. 

I remember my high school cross country coach saying, “Everyone tried to get you to run and you didn't wanna run and you didn't run.” I think that was one of the best things for me to hear, “hey, when people are rooting for you, dial in, you know?” So I feel like I'm dialing in.

Being Present and Celebrating

Meghan: I actually see myself getting to a very simplified but very celebrated lifestyle. And what I mean by that is just being present. Celebration isn't about spending a bunch of money or buying a bunch of dollar store stuff. Celebration is about the five senses, and that's how I'm trying to look at my Second Half of life. I am going to be present, which means I'm going to celebrate. I’m really going to try to be aware of what I’m seeing, tasting, touching, smelling and hearing; you dance not 'cause you're good at it and you know the latest move- but because it feels good to move to the music, you know?

Carami: So moving into your Second Half, you may not have a milestone birthday or you may not be having a baby, or celebrating some big thing necessarily, but you're talking about celebrating every day. 

Meghan: Celebrating the moment. Celebrating other people's moments and my own moments. What is there to look for in the Second Half? According to the calendars, absolutely nothing. Ha. Ha. Botox appointments - ha ha!

Carami: Oh my gosh, I love this, you're making me cry. 

Meghan: But I think it's going to be a really wonderful Present Second Half.

Carami: So where do you see yourself going in your Second Half? 

Meghan: Getting to a simplified and very celebrated lifestyle. I think the biggest thing about a celebration is that you're present. So if you think about how many times we're on autopilot. You know, like working nine to five or whatever your hours are and all those things that we're on autopilot for. In my Second Half I'm not trying to get into a bigger house. I'm not trying to get married. I'm not trying to have more kids. I'm not any of those things. Both my parents have passed away. Not that my family won't have other health problems, but that was a major part of my last five years. I just think that my Second Half is going to be about being present.

Meghan’s Adieu

🔹The world needs to realize that those in their Second Half are…worth celebrating. 

🔹I'd like to tell everyone in their first half to…breathe and dial in. Lean in to what feels right.

🔹Hands down in my second half I will…just feel. I just want to be here and enjoy the sounds, the foods, and everything else.

🦋I'm lucky 'cause I've got a tribe that supports me like no other. 

Thank you to my girl Meghan for sharing and braving a feature publication in Second Half Chronicles. My hope is that her story touches or inspires at least one person today. I love this community already. I cannot wait to see where it continues to take us. Thank you for all your support!!!

💙Carami and Meghan

Above: Meghan and Carami pictured with various friends and family (1992-2010). *Now that we realize our most recent picture is our master’s graduation in 2010…we made a pact to fix that!

Let’s interact: What do you see yourself “celebrating” in your Second Half? Leave a comment!